How a simple yes builds lasting friendship
There’s a certain kind of stillness that settles in once we’ve built our careers, families, and histories.
Friendship can start to feel like something we locked in years ago and now simply maintain. Our calendars stay full, but the space for new connections shrinks. It’s easy to think real friendship belongs to an earlier chapter.
After Kevin Young and I finished a 100-mile walk in New England last year, we had what felt like a throwaway idea: play nine holes at Rockport.
It was casual, almost an afterthought.
But that round became the beginning of something much bigger.
It led to an invitation to Scotland with Kevin and the friends he had made in Rockport. I didn’t know most of the guys, but I trusted Kevin’s judgment and decided to say yes.
One year later, we met in Inverness and headed north to Golspie. We settled into an old granary by the sea and spent the week playing some of the Highlands’ great links: Brora, Royal Dornoch, Nairn, and Golspie.
The courses gave us everything we hoped for: firm ground, shifting wind, uneven lies, and the steady reminder that in links golf, the land is never just scenery. It has a vote.
But the real success of the trip wasn’t about golf at all.
It was the everyday stuff.
Eight guys, three rental cars, and eight golf bags. Grocery runs. Shared meals. Setting and clearing the table. Pints at the local pub. Coffee from the corner shop. A stamp from the pharmacy for a postcard to my grandson.
These ordinary moments became the real glue of our connection.
Our work roles faded away. There were no titles or expectations. We simply showed up, helped out, shared a laugh, and listened to one another’s stories.
By the end of the week, it was clear: lasting friendships aren’t built on history alone. They begin when we’re willing to say yes and take part.
This is the heart of Questing for me. It’s not about chasing achievements or checking famous courses off a list. It’s about staying open when it would be easier to stay comfortable.
The best friendships and most meaningful experiences often begin with a simple yes.
What is one “yes” that changed the shape of a friendship for you?
