Where setbacks become shared moments

A few years ago, Patricia Forts was one of the first to join me at the start of the 100 Miles of Dialogue journey. Our connection goes back many years.

We both graduated from the College of the Holy Cross in 1981. Later, we worked together at Shipley Company—Patricia in Human Resources, and I was in Engineering, Safety, and Product Development. She also served on the Standard Register Healthcare Advisory Council.

Patricia recently retired, and I continue to advise and build Dialogue Miles. Through every phase, our conversations have centered on people and relationships.

Not long ago, Patricia, her husband Jeff, and a great group of friends traveled to Croatia for a bucket-list trip. We enjoyed biking, sightseeing, laughter, and many shared moments. But we faced a challenge we hadn’t seen coming.

We both had broken hands.

Patricia’s injury kept her from riding, and my own hand issues had already made me miss some activities too. Instead of focusing on what we couldn’t do, we chose to do what Dialogue Miles is all about: we went for a walk.

It’s comforting to realize you’re not alone in your struggles. Sometimes, it feels like setbacks only happen to us, until we see someone next to us facing something similar. What could have been frustrating instead became a chance for connection and understanding.

We talked about grandchildren, family, healthcare, friendships, changes in life, and those who influenced us. As we walked among the city’s old architecture, history, religion, and culture, our conversation returned again and again to the people we care about.

When we’re younger, we often talk about building careers, reaching goals, and getting promotions. But as time goes on, the focus shifts from achievements to relationships, from titles to the impact we have, and from what we do to who we share life with.

Sometimes, when we lose something, we get so caught up in what’s missing that we don’t notice the new opportunities right in front of us.

A broken hand might keep you from one activity, but it can also open up space for a new experience you never expected.

That walk turned out to be a wonderful way to spend the day together. It’s still one of my favorite memories from the trip.

Has a change in plans ever made room for something new in your life or work?